I must begin by sharing why I decided to enter the beautiful, often bewildering, and sometimes harsh online world of Gor. Several years ago I frequented the yahoo chat rooms, there I met and submitted to a RL Master from England. I became his devoted online submissive – I trusted him implicitly and shared everything about myself with him. Although it was only an online relationship, he held total mastery over me, I cannot explain how I would feel when I saw his name pop up, the dark thrill that would electrify my body and mind. He held me in the palm of his hand. He took me places in my mind and soul that no one has been able to since, even in real life.
I was single and could spend hours playing with him, sometimes till early in the morning (here in New Zealand). We were on the verge of meeting, he was about to buy me a ticket to visit him in England, but – I chickened out. *sighs* I wondered how much of this relationship was just a fantasy I’d concocted in my head as opposed to something I craved for in real life. I looked at our relationship and began to question my true feelings about it – was it just a sexual addiction to him or was I truly submissive? Did I really yearn to serve someone with my all, or did I just enjoy the ‘kink’ of it online?
You see, in real life I am very strong willed, independant, and I hate following the orders of anyone! I’m anti authoritarian, and if I meet anyone that even smells bossy, I can be very dismissive and sarcastic. BUT – I’ve always enjoyed a Dominant man who has a quiet yet steely purpose, whom has a natural way of commanding others, and enough self-confidence and is secure within himself to not be arrogant or demeaning to others.
To me, my online Master was all of that and more. Unfortunately, after I began to question the depth of my submission to him, I got all scaredy cat on his ass, and sometimes I hid. my real life began to suck me away from him. Eventually, we both lost touch – I guess when I wasn’t online at the usual times, he drifted away, and I guess I allowed it. After all, then I didn’t have to deal with the complications of our very unique relationship.
So…how does this connect to Gor? Well, Master had several Gorean Master friends, and sometimes we would visit them in their rather mysterious ‘taverns’. I was welcomed as long as I remained quiet and respectful. Their protocols and customs bewildered me, the occasional bursts of violence and rituals shocked me, but the memories that remained with me to this day were of the beautiful kajira, their amazing serves and dances, the way they’d catch a Freeperson’s attention, the grace of their movements and sensuality of their actions. As a writer I was captivated! And as a woman I was intrigued, yet also…how could these women be slaves to men? The women I spoke to in these taverns were highly intelligent, accomplished and lovely women in real life – why would they allow themselves to not only submit to a Master, but be totally owned, body and soul, by him?
It mystified me.
One of my passions is collecting old books. I’m not talking about rare manuscripts or such, I mean dog eared, well thumbed volumes of classic and pulp fiction and non fiction. When I’m in the mood, my idea of a good day out is to stalk someone having a garage sale with lots of books! A few of these trips netted me several pre-loved John Norman books – specifically, Hunters of Gor and Tarnsman of Gor. Interestingly, it took me several years before I read these books. Halfway through Hunters of Gor I remember throwing the book clear across the room. Could this writer be for real? Women as sexual ‘beasts’ or ánimals’ that existed purely for the pleasure of men? It all seemed like a fourteen year old boy’s masturbatory fantasy! And the amount of times the author would pontificate or repeat himself in his long winded passages – it truly boggled my mind! But i finished both books, and ordered the next five after Hunters of Gor.
*Laughs at herself*.
So what is this blog about?
This is a journal of song’s meanderings in Gor, her feelings, thoughts and emotions, her adventures, mistakes, and maybe even drama she will get herself involved in, the characters she will meet, the friends she will make, and perhaps the enemies. You will notice that, although song is a fictional character, her real life driver’s thoughts and emotions will be explored in this blog also. Truth, more so for myself than for anyone else, is what I’m truly seeking…
i must make it clear that song is an aspect of myself that I am exploring again – my desire to submit to a strong, powerful, intelligent and tender Dom whom can move me physically, mentally and emotionally in the world known as Second Life. Come along for the ride if you wish, you may witness some tantrums and tiaras, some tears and tender moments.
Up for it? I’m not sure I am *grins* but let’s see what evovles.
I wish you well…
The Versatile Deviant. 